Let’s Talk About It— Day 29 of 30 Guests in 30 Days

It's Day 29 guys!🎉

Friendship plays an important role in healthy human existence and development. Friendship and different kind of relationships exist in practically every stage of human development and takes different form.

The term relationship is a broader aspect of friendship. Relationship involves the connection between two or more persons or things. People can connect or relate in different forms such as; marriage co-workers business partners, parents to children, siblings etc. However, when it comes to relationships there is connectivity and mutual benefit amongst the person's relating.

Friendship basically is a link between two persons who have a pleasurable bond. Having a friend means having someone to rely on, feeling comfortable asking for help, expressing feelings, being open and vulnerable to and enjoying support. Friendship flows from the point that no man is an island. Friendship has lots of principles that sustains it. A wise man once stated in proverb 18:24.

"A man who has many friends must himself show himself friendly and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother".  

Proverbs 17:17 'A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. These words by Solomon portrays the fact that friendship is as important as human existence on Earth.

For the purpose of this article, I will Focus mainly on godly friendship which I believe is the foundation or should be the foundation of every form of relationship for a Christians.

Godly Friendship

Most of life's greatest experiences, the ones that resonate in our heart and mind involve other people, rarely do we experience them alone and even when we do our first inclination is to share it with someone. Also, most of our pains hurt and frustration in life flows from our friends and people around us. People's relationship is probably the biggest problem one will face because human behaviour is diverse and change’s part time. However, you can't really succeed in live or attain your greatest height without friends and relationships, friends’ impact and influence our lives both negatively and positively. The quality of friends one has will tell who that person will be, the decisions the person will make and down to the least aspect of a person's life. Friendship is a big deal.

An old African adage says "show me your friend and I will tell you who you are". Another states "if you work with five foolish, wise, rich or poor friends you will soon become the number six foolish, wise, rich or poor friend among the five. Bible corroborates this in I Corinthians 15:33 "evil communication corrupts good manner".

If the above statement that friendship impacts and influences every area of Our Lives is something to go by, then as Believers the choice of our friends should be as important as our 'value for salvation', the value of our life assignment and the value we place on our life generally.

We are in the world where abnormalities are becoming normal, there is a high level of moral decadence, the love of men for money is on a high increase, the love of men for the things of God is going cold daily. Truth be told the words of Paul in 2nd Timothy 3:1-5 is in play today.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people."

Also, Jude 1:18-19. AMPC. states “they told you beforehand, In the last days (in the end time) there will be scoffers [who seek to gratify their own unholy desires], following after their own ungodly passions. 19 It is these who are [agitators] setting up distinctions and causing divisions—merely sensual [creatures, carnal, worldly-minded people], devoid of the [Holy] Spirit and destitute of any higher spiritual life."

Jude points our attention to the fact that we are in the last days. However, Paul in the later part of II Timothy 3:5 admonishing us as believers not have anything to do with such people. This goes to imply that as Believers we have to be more careful about a choice of friends now than ever.

I wish to note at this point that there are different levels of friendship and it's important we know them and know where to place some persons in our lives.

Acquaintance

These are people you recognize and who also recognizes you.  These set of people you have occasional chat with them. No form of serious commitment at this level, there is no much expectation from both parties. People within this level happens to be neighbours, people you meet on your way to work etc.

Casual Friends

At this level of friendship, friends enjoy each other's company share things a bit more above surface level. They can plan to meet and spend time together unlike that of acquaintance. Sometimes this kind of friendship is based on shared hobby, job or situations.

The Close Friends

This level of friendship the demands more closeness, more attention and concern for each other. At this level friends tend to see each other more often, they share more emotional support, there is a mutual sense of respect what expectations you share advice about issues time to time to stop a strong bond trust and commitment exist at this stage. It takes longer time for people to get to this stage at this stage you can always count on your close friend the person will have more influence in what you do and then others.

Intimate Friends

This kind of friendship is almost like the last. However, in this level really is anything Kept Secret, at this level there is a deeper connection, a high sense of safety, Trust, commitment and support also, people begin to refer to one another as best friends because the persons involved have come to accept themselves for who they are they have come to know themselves for years. People at this stage share values of life and belief systems. Intimate friends are known even by people around them to be friends they have more influence and impact on the Decisions of one another and tend to consult each other in taking several decisions.

Haven't stated the levels of friendship is pertinent that as believers we understand what level we are to place persons in our lives. We interact with the world system at work school, clubs’ event etc. But we must know at what level we are relating with this person's knowing fully well that the level we relate to them we have faked the impact and influence they will have over us.

Many have come to argue or state that Jesus made friends with sinners and even tax collectors, yes!! he did but we must also understand the intention and context in which Jesus associated with this person Luke chapter 5;32)

*Jesus associated with this people with intention of getting them saved.

*Jesus was called their friend because he showed them the father's love that would bring them unto repentance.

*Jesus was not always found around them all the time.

*Jesus was not found involved in the even asked they were doing he had goal and was on a mission.

* Jesus never said the Deep things of the Kingdom to them.

* Jesus never called them friends but people did.

Having stated the above, it's germane you know the intention of an action before we copy. The people that Jesus called Friends and share deep secrets about the kingdom were his disciples. John 15:15. “Henceforth I call you friends for all things that I have heard of my father I have made known unto you."

We are commanded to love all men and do good to all men; we are commanded to owe no man anything but love you. can love your enemy but not to be conformed to their ways of life or become intimate with them.  (Romans 13:8, Mathew 5:44). And I've been at my new show act of kindness and love do it without conformity to Friendship in the deepest level.

Benefits of Godly Friends/ Relationship

There are many reasons why you believe I can't keep close and intimate friendship with Unbelievers of pagans. Also, there are several benefits implications of keeping friendship with believers.

1. Doctrinal convictions

You must understand that ungodly friends have nothing to do with doctrinal persuasions. You can't discuss doctrine and your convictions about your faith with your ungodly or pagan friend. Colossians 3:16 admonishes us to speak to ourselves and encourage one another   "Let the word of Christ live in you richly, flooding you with all wisdom. Apply the Scriptures as you teach and instruct one another with the Psalms, and with festive praises, and with prophetic songs given to you spontaneously by the Spirit, so sing to God with all your hearts!" this can only be achieved in the company of godly friends.  You discuss doctrinal convictions and compare scripture to scripture. You speak with each other as spirituals and build your faith. Doctrinal convictions is an important part of your faith and growth thus having friends that can help you build sound doctrine is very important.

2. Sharing of the Spirit

Promptings of the spirit are words spoken to the mind as feelings, ideas and as impulse to do or not to do something. Most times when you receive these promptings, you might need a friend to share it with, someone that understands and can help you decern what exactly these promptings are. Only a Godly friend who understands the things of the spirit can help you at this point and not an unbeliever. The things of the spirit will be foolishness unto them (ungodly friends), they would not understand them because they are spiritually decerned. (I Corinthians 2:14-15). Indeed, keep Godly friends that you can share the promoting of the spirit to do one thing or the other. Several times I have had to call my friends and share some things that I perceive in my spirit, and ones they hear it they just begin to give clarity and accurate interpretation to the mystery that resonates in my Spirit. At that point my Spirit is lifted and active to carry out the instructions I received.

3. Burdens to Pray

I wish to remind you of the event in the garden before the transfiguration of Jesus. When it was time for his death, He took about three of His Disciples to the place of prayer and requestedthey pray with him. Remember it was not with the tax collectors that He went to Pray with. They would not understand the burden of prayer and what was at hand. The disciples though slept at a point in while praying, they never argued or complained about his much hours in prayer or the routines.  The disciples at a point requested that he teach them how to pray and He did. Sharing burdens of prayer is a huge benefit of having Godly friends. Godly friends will not just encourage you to go for the prayer they will go with you.

During my undergraduate days in Obafemi Awolowo University, there are times when one has this strong burden to pray about something, and you need a companion you just call a friend and before you know it you are in sports praying for hours for a prayer that you must have properly planned for just let's say an hour you end up praying for five to six hours because the friend you took there kept on encouraging you to pray some more. Dear you need godly friends to "ginger" you to Pray.

4. Gods Callings and Assignment

The company of Godly friends is the company of supernatural relationship, it's the company of spirit lead believers. Thus, it's in a company like this that you can we can express God's calling upon our life’s. Our assignment on earth or purpose is the major reason why God created us. Finding it and fulfilling it in line with God's eternal plan for mankind is pivotal to existence and friends play a major role in this regard. Jonathan been a friend of David understood the calling of God upon the Life of David and was very instrumental to Him fulfilling it. He became an instrument of shield to David by helping him escape the death plot of Saul (1 Samuel 20:40-42). Your friends must be those you can share God's calling upon your life and they would help you in becoming all God has planned for you.  Most times your supernatural or Godly friends will blend up being your partners, associates, or Co Laboure’s in carrying out that assignment.

5. Accountability

One of the problems we face as believers is having accountability patterns. Accountability patterns are persons who hold you accountable for the things you said you would do or the things you said you would not do. It means you having persons that can ask you questions, rebuke, correct or evaluateyour progress about things you told them about. Just as I stated earlier about the third and fourth level of friendship: they are committed, vulnerable and trust each other. A believer with Godly friends can easily have them as accountable patterns. Sometimes, some negative things may creep into our hearts unknown to us we need those friends that can cast out those demons of evil thoughts and bring us back to track. Most times we fall or stray at some points I tell you at this point you need friends who are accountability patterns, this one you can open up to and they would believe you, they would help shield you from public swords, they would cover your nakedness while helping to strength and restore you. (Proverb 27:6) "You can trust a friend who wounds you with his honesty, but your enemy’s pretended flattery comes from insincerity." (TPT) it’sbetter and accountability friend rebukes you than an enemy.

6. Edification

Edification is the encouragement, direction, insights, clarity a believer gets from other believer in form of words, psalms, doctrine or symbols. Having a godly friend around you would always be an avenue for edification. There are friends that when you get around them, you get fired up and laziness, fear and uncertainty is driven out of your life by just a word that come from them to you from God.

Again, I remember my undergraduate days. You will never be out of words. There is always that friend that has a word for almost everyone. At times I will get to where we call white wall in OAU (a praying ground) with friends and words begin to roll out from different persons right there you get comfort, direction and insight into mysteries. I Corinthians 14:26. States “Well, my brothers and sisters, let’s summarize. When you meet together, one will sing, another will teach, another will tell some special revelation God has given, one will speak in tongues, and another will interpret what is said. But everything that is done must strengthen all of you."(NLT) Dear you can't get edified in the company of ungodly friends.

7. Spurring unto Good Works

Heb. 10:24-25. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Back to my OAU story and experience, till date most of myfriends then have gone into full time ministry, some into career but at the end everyone is still conscious of the faith and ministry of the saints. Everyone is still active in doing goodworks. back then on campus and till now we would encourage ourselves to excessing the gifts of the spirit, we spur ourselves to evangelize, to healing to get people filled with the holy host. Till date we still spur one another to holding meetings and creating avenues to reaching men for the gospel. These friends are like the Barnabas, Paul, Timothy, John mark etc. Having godly friends that would always spur you unto good works unto doing terrible things in Righteousness in which you were created in Christ for is very important

8. Godly Counsel

Have you ever been in a confused, frustrating and troubled situation whereby seems like you don't know what to do?  It seems like you can't decern between what is good and perfect, what is good and what is right?  Times like this, we seek help from godly friends. They can come in and help out because at that point they are not emotionally involved and are more stable. Ungodly friends can't give godly counsel, anything and almost everything goes for them. I hope you know there is a difference between godly council and moral counsel. Something might be morally right but not the intent of God. You need spirit filled friends that can give godly counsel.  Proverb 11:14. Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverb 27:9. Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.

9.For A Life Partner.                                             This comes into my list of the benefits of godly friends becauseit has been said that the best set of persons to marry is "your friend" imagine having set of Friends who are not godly and expecting that when it's time for marriage you will choose from the godly ones. Hello, God can't be mocked. Where you have sown you will reap from. You can't be having friends who cannot pray, edify you, understand the things of the spirit, the party types, and Christians with marlin vibes, surrounding you, and you want God to give you a fervent God-fearing partner. Haba! God is not a fool a man will surely reap what he has sown. Understand that your life partner would not be a total stranger but among your friends. Ask yourself; with the kind of friends around you now if you were to choose someone to marry among them with the hope of building a godly home would they fall into the criteria of a godly spouse?

As believers we must understand that our lives partners are very important to the agenda and assignment of God over our lives. We must be deliberate in building godly friends that would be to our advantage. Enough of this statement that "Christians brothers are boring and not romantic, and Christian sisters are not sexy and exposed". Dear, stop generalizing and giving yourself an excuse to be worldly.

Finally, as I drop my pen in this short piece remember you were not created to be an island.  God saved you into a family of faith into a kingdom with its own people, culture, systems and pattern of doing things. You were saved into the family of faith thus;you are to build your cycle from among them. You can't afford to be too careless about your Christian journey alone, God never did he had a friend Abraham, Jesus never did he had the disciples, Paul never did neither did any of the disciples. You can't claim everyone in the family of faith is bad it means you have a personal problem.

As a believer who have been made a leader, a king and Priest, people relationship is important to the fulfilment of your vison. Friends are important to how well you finish your race. I always make this statement "The greatest Gift God can give a Man after Salvation is the Gift of Men”. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 summarizesthe need for not just friends but godly ones.

Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor;10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!11 Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Pray for true supernatural relationships or godly friendship today. Love them, Value them, cherish them and enjoy the blessing of true fellowship in friendship.

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